I am meeting an.... ex-friend... I don't know what to call her, really... for coffee tomorrow. She was woefully unsupportive the first year after B.W. died., even going as far as to say that his death is less than comparable to the potential death of her "living" child. I won't go into the details, but I suppose in her mind my son was less of a son, or my grief is less worthy because he lived such a short life. Maybe she believes because I have so few memories of him that it somehow hurts less that he is absent.
Really? How fortunate for her that she can be so naive.
Needless to say, I had avoided her like the plague after this transpired.
She called right as C.T. was to be born. I was still in heavy mourning mode and juiced up on fear that C.T. would also die. I didn't have the energy to "fight" her, or tell her to get lost, so we talked a bit. Cause, you know, it was a "happy time" for me - so she was okay with that. She has called me probably 3 times in the last year -- all relatively pleasant conversations perhaps from her viewpoint, but extremely forced for me.
She invited me to her (2nd) bridal shower. I think we must cut the crap. But, I'm not good at confrontation. I've had a stomach ache all week. We'll see how this goes.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Oh crap, I am sorry you have to deal with this! Know that I am thinking of you, sending you lots of love. Just keep in mind...no guilt. You did not choose to change the relationship in the first place, circumstances changed, and she couldn't bend to change with you and your new life. But, maybe it will go better than expected! Either way, how AMAZING are you, that you are even entertaining the notion of giving the relationship a second chance? You are so very courageous and kind!
ReplyDeleteI had a friend treat me terribly after Liam died. Said hurtful words and could not see her actions as wrong. I told her (through email) that I needed space, and did not respond her her attempts at apology. After a year, she contacted me again, and we are slowly begging email conversations. Forgiveness was ringing loudly in my ears - holding onto the anger was doing me no good. I do not approve of her past actions, just letting them be in the past and moving forward cautiously.
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard though. I hope your meeting goes well. Good luck.